My academic education just isn’t enough

Now, I am not saying my university has failed me, because I truly love where I go to school. I believe that there are things that I should be taught that will help me advance in life, things that need instruction because they are either not common sense items (i.e. need to be taught to us) or not everyone will get the chance to learn that particular valuable lesson in life.

Don’t get me wrong, I go to a university; a big state school to be precise. I am getting a college degree because in my field it will help me advance. However, I have learned more valuable lessons from my peers, from reading literature that is not assigned in a class and researching things on my own than I ever have in a classroom. While I don’t think school is a waste of mine or anyones time, there are certain things I don’t agree with, or think could be changed for the better.

I am twenty years old, I barely know how to do my taxes and have done them for three years now and every year I have to call up my mother and get her help because apparently thats not something we need to learn in school? I just signed a lease for my first apartment (hurrah!) and some of the terms on the agreement I had never even heard before. I don’t know how to write a check because 1. who uses checks anymore and 2. the last time someone showed me how to write a check I was in the fifth grade. In my opinion all of these things listed are valuable skills in life, and definitely not something that I should be thrown into without any prior instruction. so my question is, why aren’t we being taught basic valuable life skills that nearly everyone in america will come by in their life time? Instead we are being taught basic curriculum in classes we may not care about so we can be well rounded students (I for example really hate math). I just see a hard line to cross from having to ask your teachers for permission to do virtually anything, then being expected to have all of this knowledge on how to be independent.

Now, those are things that I think could easily be integrated into an academic course. I also believe there are things that people need to learn that aren’t so easy to place in a school setting, that being said we should still try. No one is ever really taught how to handle emotions, or the stress of dealing with the horror that is middle/high school. So many people are fumbling around not really sure how to handle what is going on in their own mind. And the problem with this type of situation not being addressed in school settings is virtually every single student will go through this at some point, thus making this a universally needed curriculum.

I know there are a lot of things I still need to learn, and I am learning so much here at my university. However I wish there were more resources for me to gain information rather than just googling a subject and hoping the article I am reading is correct. I graduate in December so its almost 100% likely I won’t be taught any of these things in a school setting anytime soon. So I will continue to just hope my internet articles are correct, and I encourage you if you have an interest in something you aren’t being taught to do some research because you can never learn too much.



I don’t know what I am doing next week, let alone in 5 years

Sorry y’all for the hiatus, after dead week, finals week and spring break I had a lot of important things to catch up on, like sleep. As I roll into my second to last quarter here at my university all of the questions from friends and family asking about my future and my plans are getting a little a lot overwhelming. I am graduating for a young age so I am in a constant balance of trying to be 20 and having a fun time and trying to transition into adulthood and getting my life started. Trying to balance saving for bills and taking naps is quite an interesting situation.

I don’t exactly know what I want to do with my life, but I know what makes me happy and I hope to do something that I enjoy. Yes I want to be financially stable but I would rather be making less money than dread going to my job every day. I don’t plan on going into the “typical” job field, I am not the type to wear a pant suit or heels to work. If you are then that is great! All I ask is you don’t judge me for not being like that. I have a hard time committing to something if I don’t enjoy myself while doing it. I am in constant awe of my best friend, she is the epitome of what I am trying to convey about this situation. She never settles for anything she doesn’t enjoy which personally I think is such an important trait for a person to have.

My best friend tagged me in a post the other day that triggered the inspiration for this one. The post began with “what do you like to do, what do you actually like to do and if you currently hate your job and want to be doing something else what would it be?” The quote continued for much longer but I hope you get the gist of it. I see so much settling in the world and people accepting what they think will be “okay” for the long run. But if there is something out there that you want to do then what is stopping you from doing it? What is stopping you from quitting your dead end job to pursue something that you would wholeheartedly enjoy? When I ask myself these questions I struggle with my own answers because I always try to justify my actions for someone else “so and so would be more proud of me if I do this” or “I don’t want to look like I can’t make my mind up about my future because I care what people think”, yes I admit I have these thoughts quite often and if you don’t, you are truly lucky because I can’t think of a single person I know who hasn’t struggled thinking about their future. But I recognize while I have these thoughts that I need to do what is best for me because I don’t want to sit at a desk all day I would rather go out and create and help people in the world so my path will be different than someone else’s.

My best friend has changed schools, taken on positions in numerous different job situations and now (and I am proud to announce this!!) opening up her own online site for repurposed clothing that she finds and crafts with herself. Whenever I am feeling down about not knowing my exact future and 5 year plan I look towards her because she has never stopped once to settle for something she wasn’t happy with, and I know I have her support to remind me to keep doing what makes me happy!

So, the next time you worry if people think you’re flitting around while you try and figure out what is best for you hold your head up high and find what you truly enjoy. You are the only one living your life and there is not time to do something that doesn’t make you happy.

I will keep you updated on my friends business “Sinbad clothing” which will be debuting in the beginning of May!




It’s Spring Break Y’all

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I have been wrapped up in the dreadful finals week. I calculated and between all my classes I took 17 exams and quizzes this quarter. So needless to say I am SO glad that its over. Today was the start of people receiving acceptance letters to my university. I remember two years ago when I got my acceptance letter. Everyone around me was getting them, and this was the start of me realizing the mail men and women purposefully don’t deliver my mail on time just for laughs (I do order a lot of things online but hey, I really like stuff) and because of this the mail wasn’t delivered for three days. Finally it came, the envelope. Me being clueless didn’t know the gold envelope meant you got in so I sat there telling my mom that there was no way I could open it, finally she convinced me and here I am, two years later, just finishing a quarter that involved 17 exams.

I think the most important lesson I have learned in college is to be selfish, I have to do what is best for me. Don’t confuse this with being self-centered, I believe there is a huge distinction between the two. To me, being selfish is doing whats best for you kind of like self care, for example cutting toxic people out of your life, or turning down plans because you need some serious self pampering. Being self centered to me is kind of living in your own egotistical world, thinking you have to do whatever it takes even if it is at the expense of others.

So by my definition of selfish I see no problem of doing what is best for me. I know what I want in life so if I get an opportunity to advance then yes I will take it, sure it may make people sad for a little while because I won’t see them as much but they understand that I am happy and of course I will always send them heinous snapchats of myself to keep them updated. I am always going to do what is best for me considering it’s my life and I want to life my best possible life. I am not stepping on others or abandoning my friendships to get what I want. And if someone needs me I will always try to be by their side, even if it is through a computer screen. My motto is if your above someone on the ladder, lend them a hand to help them climb.

So congratulations to all of those high school seniors finally receiving their acceptance letters, I know how agonizing the wait can be. My advice is go to the university you want to go to, not the all of your friends are going to because you can still keep in touch with your old friends and you’ll have the opportunity to make new ones. I can’t wait to see all of the husky pups next year and I hope you never ever have to take 17 exams in one quarter



My Dreams are Exponentially Bigger than my Bank Account

This is the first weekend in months that I haven’t been scheduled to work so I called up my parents and asked them to take me HOME!  I am curled up on the couch eating homemade mashed potatoes with my momma, watching SVU, listening to my dad teach my little brother some songs on the guitar and let me tell you, I am feeling #Blessed (and don’t worry, I am using that saying as satire). It’s little things like this that really keep me going. I can sit back in these moments and realize everything is okay, even though I have three exams this week. I don’t always feel this content however, and by Monday morning you best believe I will be stressing out over my biology exam, contemplating if college is even worth it (by Monday afternoon I will realize yes, it is). I often get so consumed by everything going on around me I forget to focus on the bigger picture, achieving my end goals and dreams.

Let’s talk about my eavesdropping problem shall we? I am constantly listening and people watching and wondering what is going on in these strangers lives for who knows why. Every now and then I will hear people say- and I will even hear my friends say this- that they don’t think they can afford their dreams, or that if they took this opportunity what would happen to the people around them. I know a large group of people who got into their dream school but couldn’t attend because of the tuition rates, or people who can’t take a job a couple towns away because they need to stay home and take care of a younger sibling or grandparent. My heart drops whenever I hear these stories because I don’t think it is fair, although it is completely reasonable, for a person to put their dreams on hold.

I love hearing success stories come out of these situations though. Hearing a person say their patience worked out in their favor and they have achieved all their hopes and dreams in life, even if it is later than they had originally planned. Listening to these people talk is so inspirational because they have overcome all of the roadblocks in their way to do what they have always wanted.

Something I have no tolerance for is the people who get into these situations and don’t just put their dreams on hold but forget about them entirely. Thinking that if they can’t have it now then what is the point in trying in the future. A quote tweeted by an old friend of mine IMG_6455

“You haven’t been defeated until you surrender” I think ties pretty well into this. I understand in these situations the future may look bleak but these obstacles are put in your way to overcome and make you a stronger person. In my opinion this is when its best to cling on to the little things or anything that keeps the positivity flowing inside you.

I don’t want you to confuse giving up on your dreams with changing your dreams. Because trust me, I have added majors, dropped majors, looked into joining the FBI, thought about buying my own hair salon- I wear a bun in my hair everyday so I don’t really know my thought process on that one. I basically have changed every single one of my goals and dreams until I figure out exactly what I want to do. But I never gave up, I kept fighting and will continue to fight until I have achieved everything I want to in life.

If you cannot achieve or work towards your goals right now because of family or financial reasons, I am sorry. But sit tight, your time will come I promise. And I cannot wait to hear your success story.




Remember the little things for one day they could be the big things

It’s ten thirty and after a long weekend of hard working being a retail princess I finally get a chance to breathe. HAHA. It’s college who am I kidding tonight is just the calm before the storm. After working sixteen hours this weekend and getting virtually nothing done outside of work (besides binge watching Suits on Amazon Prime) I have to dive into go-time mode for the next week and a half. Like I said, it’s college and my university is not lenient.

This week I have to prep for my two exams I have next Monday, my proposal for my final that is due Tuesday, and my term paper that is due Wednesday. Not to mention we are initiating the new member class into our home this week- and while that is a fun time, it’s also a lot of work. While I am in my own little bubble stressing out about which underwear match which bralettes, and what socks to put on what form (I work in the intimates department at Urban Outfitters as mentioned in my first post) while simultaneously wondering how in the world I am going to take two exams in one day, I kind of zoned out from the world. People do that a lot, especially college students. I am taking some courses on mindfulness and reading some literature on it as well. Mindfulness is essentially taking a step back and focusing on the now, or taking things one step at a time. While we zone out from the world and hide in our little bubble we often forget the effect we have on the people surrounding us. Today at work while I didn’t think I could stay awake a minute longer a customer came up to me and thanked me for all my help and said she was very impressed with my knowledge of the product. Then my manager let me off ten minutes early and handed me a certificate praising me for taking leadership in my new position in our department. Then when I go home I opened up Instagram (a girl needs a little mindLESS time right?) to find the photographer I mentioned in my latest post “Grab your dress up clothes” had posted one of our photos with such a heartfelt comment that it nearly brought me to tears.

All day I was stressing over anything and everything I could and to have three pick me up’s happen in a row was exactly the thing I needed to force myself to slow down and take this week one obstacle at a time. Sometimes focusing on exactly what you have at hand and looking at the environment around you can give you a more positive result than trying to budget multiple things at the same time.

I will leave you with one of my favorite words and practices;

1.(psychology) thinking about one’s own mental processes



Grab your dress up clothes

As I type this I am curled up under my duvet on my heated mattress pad, trying not to think about the down pour that is happening just outside my window, and how I have to walk to work tomorrow. But thats tomorrow and we can tackle that when it happens, today I got the chance to catch up with an old friend, she asked me to model for a shoot she was styling for her friend’s art program project. You’re giving me a chance to pretend I’m supermodel for two hours? Count me in.

Remember when you were five and you had trunks of ridiculous clothing that made you feel like a prince/princess? For just a couple hours you got to be whomever you wanted because you allowed yourself too. Granted you were also five and didn’t have a lot of responsibilities but you get the point.

I am a psychology and a sociology major here at my university, and when my nose isn’t crammed into a book its probably facedown in my pillow as I groan to my roommate about how I don’t know if I can survive another day with a 9:30AM class. I focus so much on how I need to do “exactly this” so in the future I can be “exactly that” (I am hoping to become a child trauma therapist in case you were wondering). Quite often I forget to make time for myself to honestly just play around because I feel like if I fall off track I won’t be able to meet my end goal anymore. Today I got to pretend I was an entirely different person, multiple times with different outfits and props and it was so exciting to let loose for a while. While I was literally twirling around in circles I realized that when I was younger I believed I could be anything I wanted to be and anything I chose felt okay. I often find myself worrying if I don’t get the exact profession I have always wanted then I must have somehow failed, but slowly I am realizing that that statement isn’t true at all. I am taking the classes I enjoy because I enjoy them -and they’re probably the only subjects that could keep me awake for a whole class period, like I said 9:30 is really early for me. I know my degree will take me somewhere in life but I don’t have to be the specific person I have been forcing myself to be for so long and girl let me tell you, that is a great feeling.

So go dig out your old trunk of ridiculous outfits and realize that there isn’t just one way to succeed in the world and try on something new.