Breathe in, and now SCREAM

One of my favorite sayings I heard in a computer game many years ago is, “don’t let the turkeys get you down”, now I have no idea what that means but it always cheers me up just a bit when I’m feeling a little off. Being an upbeat and positive person is difficult to do each and every day and its completely natural to feel down sometimes. But here’s the catch, while it is completely natural to feel down sometimes, being upset really sucks. If you’re anything like me, I get upset, then I am upset that I am feeling upset then the cycle just starts over. I get in these weird moods where I am stuck in a funk and try everything in my power to get out of it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but I keep trying!

I have struggled with anxiety ever since I can remember, so situations that could seem normal to the average joe end up appearing detrimental in my mind. It’s not a fun experience and its definitely difficult trying to convince people that mental disorders are just as difficult to live with as physical ones. So like I said, I try everything in my power to get out of the little ruts I get stuck in and I thought I would share some of my insights with you.

  1. Stay in bed

I mean it, if you don’t have anything to do that day, curl up with a good book or watch a heart warming movie complete with buttery popcorn and a cold glass of whatever your heart desires. Your mind needs rest just as much as your body does.

2. Get out of bed

I know I am sitting here contradicting myself. I don’t mean go on a run or go to the gym, but hey if thats what you like GO FOR IT. I myself think running is something only crazy people do, so I prefer yoga or barre. I can’t afford the sky high Seattle gym prices but you would be surprised how many short workout videos you can find on the internet.

3. Make and Complete a list

On my days off I compile a list of stuff I have procrastinated for the past lets say….ever and I intend to get as much of the stuff on the list done as possible. Each check off my list is a little victory that boosts my mood just a bit each time.

4. EAT

Please for the love of god eat whenever you’re feeling sad. You wouldn’t believe what nutrients and vitamins can do to a persons mind and body. I personally take multiple vitamins every day to try and boost not only my immune system but my daily functioning as well.

(The best for last)

5. Find an animal

Like I said how food helps your body? animals can do so much more. I will never take my snuggles with my pup for granted, plus animals give you unconditional love which can always help out a sour mood.



I set my intentions on myself

When you live in a big city that thrives on people and movement and a constant change of events, coming home to your parents quaint home in the midst of nowhere (you literally have to cross a bridge and a waterfall in the driveway) is a bit of a shock. It’s always nice to come home and reflect on how I live a sort of two lives, or the fact that coming home to my family is a sort of vacation from the constant activity of Seattle. And while I watch my pup snuggle with my mother, and listen to my brother shout “DUDE BRO MAN” to his buddy on Xbox, I intend to do just that.

It’s interesting how much faith we put in others. No this isn’t a post saying “only trust yourself everyone else lets you down” rather, I want to convey that there is such a thing as putting too much trust in others, a little too much faith so to speak. I am an open book, I will tell anyone who is willing to listen anything that hops into my mind at the time. This happens to get me into trouble some times but I also like it about myself, in moderation. I am learning (even at the age of twenty you can STILL learn!!) how to adjust and adapt to my many environments. I am learning that some people who I put faith in are only temporary, and that is OKAY! I am learning that some people who I put faith in use it to manipulate me or others, which is not okay. But I am also learning that there are people out there who I don’t put enough faith in, but they deserve it.

I am taking a communications course right now and one of this weeks topics is where you set your intentions. To me I thought this was an interesting topic for a communications class because when I think of intentions I think of something I am going to do, a goal of something I want to obtain or complete. However, my professor explain intentions in a new way that spoke to me. She said, that with every conversation no matter who it be with you have the opportunity to commit to bettering yourself or a relationship with the person you’re communicating with. I found this interesting because that really made me think on how much time and faith I devote to others.

She explained that if someone isn’t worth the commitment, then it betters yourself because you will grow from the situation once you are out of it. If someone is worth the commitment then you must make it an intention to better that relationship. There are people out there you should spend more time on, and there are people out there who most likely do not deserve the energy you spend on them. It’s noticing throughout the interactions of your relationship where to place this person, and where to go from there that is the difficult task.

All of this really spoke to me this week because I have been doing a bit of spring cleaning as to who I want to spend more time on, or what relationships I want to develop further as well as who has been toxic to my life. I realized who I need to devote more time to is myself. No matter what conversations I have, no matter what I accidentally say or do I will always be by my own side. If you have friends that are forgiving of your mistakes then devote a little extra time to them this week, if you’re in a rut and struggling to do so? spend that extra time on yourself. Trust me, nothing bad can come out of a little self recuperation.




Make Me

Motivation; the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. What made you sit down on your computer/phone? Why do you do what you do? Its always interested me personally, I used to want to study behavior but I found a track that better suited me. Finding what makes people tick, why some people behave different from others and why there are so many paths us as people can take to fulfill their life. Its astounding if you sit back and really think about it.

The other day I was filling out a questionnaire for work and one of the questions was what inspires you, I struggled with it a lot. I even asked my friend and he wasn’t sure, he said dogs but I couldn’t really put that on a work form. Some people have an idol, others have a goal, everyone has an idea of something that motivates them but I was having difficulties pinpointing it down to just one thing. I looked around and I was inspired by nearly everything around me. All of the little things going on in my area, my new pup asleep at my lap, my little coming home and already making plans with her friends and actively trying to include everyone, my housemate who poured aloe on my shoulders where I couldn’t reach after being burnt by the sun at pride (thanks ness!) all of that motivates and inspires me because I couldn’t be where I am without them so I look to them when I need a little help here and there.

Imagine if you had to fill out a questionnaire about what inspired you, could you write down just one thing? If you can than thats pretty impressive but do you realistically only look to that one source for your motivation? I will admit, if I need to be motivated to perform a specific action I have specific motivators – like the reminder on my phone that says write a blog post every day yet I hit ignore continuously. But overall I believe my life is inspired by nearly everything around me.

Next time someone asks what inspires you I want you to actively think about your answer, (what is motivating you to think about your answer? me! hehe) and don’t just give it some half-assed “my hero is this because”. Think why you do the things you do, think of what propels you forward in your course of life. And I can guarantee you it will be difficult to narrow it down to just one thing. Be inspired by everything around you.



P.S. I rescued a pup from the shelter! Her name is Kona and she’s perfect.


A Little Support Here and There

Today I woke up at 6 AM, trust me this is not a common thing for me. In fact if I were allowed to, I would probably sleep until 4 PM and stay awake until 4 AM. Today however I had a meet and greet with a corporate recruiter for UO–hence the reason for waking up so early. I want to work for the Urban Outfitters home office some day so my meet and greet was definitely a great step in the right direction. Tack on a shift directly after my meet and greet, then add on a couple hours dog hunting at various shelters and here I am, typing up this blog post with my roommate’s corgi in my lap while she gives me death glares for smelling like another dog. Sorry Daisy Princess!

The other day I was filling out some forms for UO and I was asked to reflect on a memory or experience of mine. It was too difficult to choose just one because quite honestly I still haven’t drawn the line between working hard or hardly working at my job. SO instead of writing about a specific memory I wrote about how my part-time sales associate job, which has now turned into a way more than part-time team lead job has turned my life inside-out in the best way possible. I came into college knowing exactly what I wanted to do, or so I thought. I had my entire life mapped out–literally like on multiple pieces of paper.  But when I started working for Urban the job brought out an entirely new side of me, a side I came to enjoy a lot. One of UO’s biggest philosophies is peers teaching peers, as well as trying to provide everyone with opportunities for growth. My coworkers saw a little flicker inside me and helped me grow into who I wanted to be. I realized that I didn’t want to sit at a desk job; I wanted to go out and create and work hands-on with others,  and Urban gives me the opportunity to not only figure this out about myself but to actually do this as well.

I think for a part-time job my freshman year of college to affect me like this is pretty cool, but that also might just be me. But it got me thinking, I found a side of myself that I didn’t know was there because I was surrounded by people that wanted to foster my growth. I wonder if I have ever had that kind of impact on a person? It also made me think how much my friends impact my life as well. Are they supportive of me? or could our relationship be a hindrance? It all kind of raced through my head at once and made me realize what an importance it is to have that kind of support in your life.

At my orientation for school we had to write down our college goal. Mine was to “find people who accept who I am but push me to be a better version of myself” and thats what I found in my job and what I am actively searching for in friendships. I challenge you to find at least one person who affects you in this way and you might find something about yourself you didn’t know was there.



Sunday Funday Sunday

Sunday in my opinion is the most awkward day of the week. We are all excited and relaxing because of the weekend, but we are also in panic mode because guess what, another week of school or work is looming over our shoulder. Up in Seattle the University District has the longest running street fair in Washington, it happens once a year and it just so happened to be this weekend. My best friend that I am constantly posting about and I crashed the street fair and got to pretend we were tourists in our own city.

Every week Mel and I try to go on a best friend date, to catch up with each other and get out of the house. In the past we have found a hole in the wall vegan thai restaurant while thrifting for clothes, taken the ferry across the water to Bainbridge Island, we ventured around the city and not only did I find a manuscript from american beauty (my favorite movie)  we found a private little beach to watch the sun set. Another time we attempted and failed to find an art gallery- who new art galleries were closed on Tuesdays? then to make up for it proceeded to stuff our faces with nachos. Last minute we decided to go to a parachute concert and ended up getting in for free when we went to buy tickets.

I feel like these “dates” are good for my soul, if that makes sense. Mel and I are from the same hometown and getting back to my roots is sometimes necessary to keep you sane. On the other hand our dates never stay in the same place, so while being able to catch up we are also exploring and learning new things.

Sometimes, taking time out of your day to do something good for yourself and one of your friends is more important than making sure you get full credit on that busy work assignment your professor gave you.

Don’t forget to check out to see all of Mel’s hard work come to life.



Stop Second Guessing and Start Living


In a society that is based upon comparison and competition it is difficult to stay objective from your thoughts when they begin to race about something you are second guessing. Second guessing something isn’t necessarily just about wondering if you made the wrong decision. In my opinion it stems much farther into over analyzing things that we do, to the point where we dwell on the subject or even change our opinion based on our racing thoughts. Like I said, its hard to stay objective when this is happening.

You know those people who are always spontaneous and look like they are having the time of their life, simply because they don’t seem to have a care in the world? Yeah, I am definitely not one of those people and lets be realistic, they probably care about a lot of things, but they have figured out how to regulate their thoughts/emotions about subjects and can easily make decisions and feel confident in them. As I write this post I am second guessing, will my readers like this topic? Is my writing up to par today? I have deleted and un-done my deletes multiple times just trying to fill the page with my thoughts.

I hate the feeling of being held back by my own thoughts. I love to read, so I have been picking up some “guides to life” books about living life to the fullest and being happy/content. Something that has been spread across all of the pages is how so many people in society don’t do things for the right reasons. One of the books explained how the only reason you should do something is because you and you alone want to do it. Take the situation and remove your friends influences, take apart the thoughts of “will this make me seem more fun/cool?” and toss out the fear of doing something novel. Do you want to do this? It could be going on a road trip, getting a tattoo, or even wearing an article of clothing thats a tad bit out of your comfort zone.

If you want to do it, go for it. That was the key to not second guessing yourself and your decisions. You have to want to do it and feel confident in your decision then nothing else will be able to waver it. Now, finding confidence in yourself is a whole different topic that I can try and tackle in another post. But today I want you to make a decision, and stick to that decision, knowing you made it! and its a good decision! Today? Mine is pressing the publish button.



Do you ever feel like a walking contradiction?

Ever heard of the term introvert/extrovert? It’s not one or the other, it’s actually a combination of the two. Which seems redundant because on one side an introvert would rather stay home and read a book while an extrovert would rather go out on the town with twelve of their closest friends. An introvert/extrovert is a mix of the two because while it seems like it is one or the other these traits are really on a spectrum, you can be outgoing, yet you desperately need your alone time. Ever been so exhausted from socializing all day that you need to recuperate with a couple of hours of Netflix and some chips? Same, and that is exactly what I am talking about.

Stereotypes are never going to go away, and placing yourself in a category is insanely difficult because if your like me and change your mind every second of everyday you don’t really know what categories you will fit in to and which ones you won’t. I recently have been in the process of updating my blog and in the midst of googling “how to make my blog cooler” I read a few posts saying that I needed to find my “brand”. Branding a blog is basically finding what category your blog fits in, or finding a topic or two that you will continuously write about like photography or food (yum). But being twenty years old its hard to commit to just one thing when I am constantly trying new things and finding all of these categories that I can fit small pieces of myself into rather than throw my entire body into just one.

While you’re growing up its super easy to fall into the clique fad, like I said stereotypes are embedded in our society and have been here probably since the dinosaur age, the T-rex? he was probably the Regina George of the animal kingdom during his time. What I want to know is who decided that you can only fit into one category? Like, if you like a certain type of thing you’re supposed to like things similar to that? Doesn’t make sense to me. In high school I would show up to different social events and get asked “whoa what are you doing here” and I would look at them and be like…uh, well hmm let me think? the same thing you are? People decided I was one type of person and it would shock them when I tried to branch out, and it drove me crazy.

Society pushes us so hard to be an individual, yet we get ridiculed for choosing too many interests? Just because I really like wearing black jeans, a black tee and an oversized black sweater doesn’t mean I can’t wear a baby pink dress when I want to. What if I told you since you like salty stuff you can’t like sweet stuff because they’re too opposite. Well that’d be weird cause white chocolate pretzels are too good to pass up even though I really am not supposed to eat them (thank you gluten intolerance). This brings me back to the introversion/extraversion debate, I think you really can fit into two categories. I don’t think you need to be the person that stays home and reads every night or only does things by themself, and you don’t need to be the person that spends nearly all their time surrounded by people doing #instaworthy things.

You CAN do both! I believe in you! Defy the norms set by society! Hehe, but actually I challenge you to notice how many different categories you can fit in to, and recognize you do not have to be just one type of person.